


He will follow

by zanderskyward



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood and Gore, Canon Divergence, M/M, Tragedy, post-chapter 80
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 22:28:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6539005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zanderskyward/pseuds/zanderskyward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi beats the Beast Titan, but it does not feel like a victory in a land filled with corpses and Erwin lost within it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He will follow

**Author's Note:**

> To my friend Fabi. I'm sorry.  
> This is my first time writing in English, so I'd appreciate it if you tell me your thoughts or find any mistakes in the comments box.  
> (Inspired by http://seitsensarvi.tumblr.com/post/142525395190/hell-follow)

He should have died instead.

As he was flying through the air only one question encircled his mind: “could I have protected him?” He even thought he should have broken Erwin’s legs after all, that that was nothing compared to what was about to happen now. He should have convinced him at least to get Eren and run away, to escape the awaiting hell where they were now going to be sentenced.

He should have protected him better.

First it was because of his damn leg that Erwin lost an arm, and Levi swore that night that he was going to give his life if it meant saving him for the one time he couldn’t.

“You’ve done so well”, was all that Levi was capable of saying when his Commander, his best friend and most trusted person told him he thought of his dream as a fake fantasy and of killing himself during _years_. And he was strong enough not to do it. Levi suspected it all, of course, because he had seen Erwin go from an arrogant young leader to a tired, brave man with too many burdens dragging him down. But hearing his theories being confirmed was somewhat all too sudden, all too shocking.

He should have known better than to hope.

Should he have stopped him? Should he have begged him to let him die instead when Erwin was the person hoping to find peace and release all these years? He couldn’t. He wouldn’t even dare, not when the man he would willingly give his life for wanted to end his own instead.

He could only give Erwin one more ray of hope, of purpose, and not let him give up until his last breath. It was the least he could do. Levi whispered “go to hell, and wait for me”, and Erwin just changed his soft smile to a knowing smirk like he used to do when they were alone and there was nothing at the horizon to worry much about, before the arm incident, before death was upon both of them so suddenly. But then Levi said the inevitable out loud and the truth became sour and real, and Erwin just left with an unsaid apology on the lips.

The worst was that Levi had already forgiven him.

The sky was a rain of rocks and dust and Levi almost thanked the latter when it clouded his vision on Erwin riding straight to his last mission leading the Wings of Freedom. Levi had to be focused on the task at hand and kill the damned beast with his swords, or the serum, or his bared hands. His vision was turning red as he charged for it, as hatred and vengeance clouded him and he became nothing more than another blood-thirsty creature. He promised to end this battle victorious and his commander had counted on him, although Levi didn’t know how he was so calm knowing he was probably going to die. Maybe he too hated the idea of coming out of this alive with the burden of the dead on his shoulders.

From then on everything became a blur of stinking fur, smoking blood and windswept.

When Levi landed on the ground unceremoniously, an immense pain exploded on his right leg and a white fog clouded his vision for a few seconds. He rolled on his side and with his last bit of strength removed the sword that had pierced his flesh in the fall. Levi groaned and got up as soon as he could, tripping over his foot and nearly falling again as the world became dizzier. He was still alive – he couldn’t black out now.

The soldier got away from the steaming monster behind him now lying on the ground, not bothering to remove from it the mastermind that had terrorized and killed them during all those years. Levi felt lightheaded, blood dripping from his head and his leg, making him feel weaker with every step he took. He cut off the ruined gear, letting the boxes hit the ground with a thud. As corpses and chunks of human flesh and horses appeared before him, the smell of blood filling the air, he felt more that he could cry his lungs out than be sick. He was wobbly on his feet, dragging his wounded leg across the war field. The sounds of hooves and people screaming felt like he was hearing them from underwater, muffled by a dull buzzing in his ears that did nothing for him to maintain his balance. His tunnel vision stretched when he saw a body lying near a white dead horse, fallen like the beast he just had fought.

Levi got down on his knees to see Erwin properly, feeling numb and empty. He didn’t know he was shaking until he put his hands on each side of the blonde’s face, smearing more blood and dirt that for once he didn’t care about. Erwin was pale as a ghost, much like Levi, and when he opened his eyes the captain felt like crying again feeling not relieved at all.

“Erwin”, he whispered. He didn’t want to look at the blooded mess of his stomach, probably smashed by one of the many rocks that were flying through the air just minutes ago.

The other man smiled a bit, a soft, warm smile that spoke more than a thousand words. “You’re bleeding, Levi”, he croaked.

Levi tried to snort but instead let out an ugly sob. He wasn’t someone who cried much, but now he felt he could keep doing it for years. He was breaking down fast now. “Look who's talking”, he finally answered, voice low.

“Please don’t cry”, the blonde, kind, beautiful man below him whispered with that warm-hearted smile on his face. Just for him. As if Levi’s whole world weren’t crumbling around him and all he could do was watch.

“And what do you want me to do, asshole?” Levi’s voice broke on the insult, and he lowered his head trying to suppress the tears. His hands stroked Erwin’s cheeks again, wanting to say a million things he never had the courage to confess before. But there was an unspoken understandment not to say many of them because they knew this day would come eventually, one way or the other. “I wanted to bring you home”. The words sounded like a broken promise, his tone vulnerable.

He expected to see fear and confusion in those blue eyes that the sky itself couldn't match, because Erwin was human after all, but all he saw was tiredness and peace and it terrified him. The commander raised a hand to caress Levi’s face too, and the man leaned into the touch. “I will wait for you, Levi.”

And he would follow Erwin to hell like he was the damned Sun.

“I’m so sorry”, Levi muttered with a strained voice.

“Levi”, the dying man looked for his attention again, and raised a hand in his direction, “you’ve already saved me so many times. All those nights, those terrible nights… you were always there although you had your own demons to deal with.”

“I…”, Levi stopped short at the beginning of the sentence, not knowing what to say. He knew Erwin’s time was running out, like a clock ticking like slower and slower as his heartbeat. Gently clasping the other man’s awaiting hand and lowering himself a bit more, he touched the blonde’s forehead with his. He guided both hands to his own chest, like a first and last salute. His throbbing leg was a mere background, dull pain.

“We have won together”, Erwin muttered, voice weak and eyes crystalline, his breathing uneven. He was so calm and composed while Levi was scared of losing him, of being left alone in that battlefield.

“Yeah”, Levi nodded slightly, “yeah, we won. We won thanks to you”.

“You’ve grown a lot these six years”. Erwin’s eyes were fluttering and he was cold, as if all the warmth in his words came right from his body. Levi focused on trying not to panic and finding words that had always burnt his throat.

“Shut up”, he let out as a choked sound, grasping the commander’s hand harder to his chest. “Fuck. I’ll miss you so much”.

“I know”, Erwin little smile returned to his face like it never even left, his breath irregular and weak. “But please take care. You’ve done so well too, Levi.”

Erwin gave a little squeeze to his linked hands and his eyes never fully left Levi’s. Finally, the smaller man let the tears roll freely down his cheeks and he doubled over more from the sudden pain in his chest, as thought he had lost control of his whole body. He again felt numb, dizzy and without any form of strength, but now his emptiness grew larger and his hands shook as they gripped the rapidly cooler corpse below him.

Not knowing how much time he kept sobbing and even screaming in rage on that field full of blossoms and dead birds, he felt like he was sinking as darkness claimed him and his black blood.

He wasn’t even able to close Erwin’s eyes, afraid that the sky was going to close on itself.

And then the captain fell to the ground at his commander’s side, like the right hand man he had always been to him.


End file.
